The plaintive whipping of the child can have many different motives: fatigue, thirst, poor health, the need for the attention of the adult … The task of the parents is to understand the cause and, more importantly, to teach him how to manage his emotions. According to the psychologist Guy Vincha, an already four -year -old child is able to remove the crying notes from his speech. How to help him do it?

Small children learn to whine at about the age when they can already be explained by complete offers, or even earlier. Some get rid of this habit to the first or second class, while in others it lasts longer. In any case, few people around are able to withstand this exhausting whimper.

As parents usually react to him? Most ask or demand from their son (daughter) to stop capricious immediately. Either they demonstrate irritation in every possible way, but this is unlikely to prevent the child from whining if he has a bad mood, if he is upset, tired, hungry or badly feels.

It is difficult for a preschool child to control his behavior, but around the age of three or four years he is already able to pronounce the same words with a less with a tearful voice. The only question is how to make him change the tone of his voice.

Fortunately, there is a simple trick that parents can use to wean a child from this unpleasant manner. Many adults know about this technique, but often fail when they try to use it because they do not comply with the most important condition: in the case of establishing borders and changing habits, we must be 100% logical and consistent.

Five steps to suppress whining

1. Whenever the child “turns on” the whimper, tell him with a smile (to make it clear that you are not angry): “I’m sorry, but you now have such a tearful voice that my ears cannot hear well. Therefore, please repeat it again in the voice of a big boy/girl “.

2. If the child continues to whine, put the palm to the ear and repeat with a smile: “I know that you are saying something, but my ears refuse to work. Can you please say the same in the voice of a big girl/boy?”

3. If the child changes the tone to less tearful, say: “Now I hear you. Thank you for talking to me like a big girl/boy “. And be sure to answer his request. Or even say this: “My ears are happy when you use your voice of a big girl/boy”.

4. If after your two requests the child is still whipping, press your shoulders and turn away, ignoring his requests until he expresses his wish without whining.

5. If the whimper develops into a loud cry, say: “I want to hear you – really want. But my ears need help. They need you to talk in the voice of a big boy/girl “. If you notice that the child is trying to change the intonation and speak calmer, return to the third step.

Your goal is to gradually develop reasonable behavior, so it is important to celebrate and reward any first efforts from the child.

Important conditions

1. For this technique to work, you and your partner (if you have it) should always react equally until the child’s habit changes. The more persistent and stable, the faster it will happen.

2. To avoid the struggle for

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power with your child, try to maintain the most calm, even tone and encourage him whenever you turn to him.

3. Do not forget to reinforce his efforts with the words of approval, pronounced once (as in examples from paragraph 3).

4. Do not cancel your requirements and do not reduce expectations, seeing that the child begins to make efforts to be less capricious. Continue to remind you of your requests to say “how big”, until the tone of his voice becomes more restrained.

5. The calmer you react, the easier it will be for the child to focus on the task. Otherwise, noticing an emotional response to his nagging, a preschooler can consolidate this bad habit.